The Secret: Everyone should read it, see it or listen to it

Over the past few days I have been listening to "The Secret" in audiobook format and am becoming increasingly impressed with every passing chapter. I even purchased the DVD and plan to watch it when I have completed the audiobook. A number of things have been reawakened within my awareness that have always been there through previous teachings from my parents and other people that I had crossed paths with in my history. These things basically place emphasis on accentuating the positive, being thankful for what exists in the present and visualizing what is in the future. As of now I feel so alive and in tune to everything that is around me and within me that it is both liberating and terrifying. To know that I currently have what is here in my life via my own thoughts and actions is certainly nothing new, but knowing of the intricate connection they have with the universe definitely is. I am learning that I am truly a creator of my own fate and not a mere mortal at the mercy of it. I am eager to learn more as I continue to listen to this audiobook, for I have already talked to a couple of coworkers about it and even applied the teachings to some advice I gave to a good friend.

HTC Kaiser reservations

For a little while I had been tempted by the HTC Kaiser smartphone. Running Windows Mobile 6 this is to be the one device to take over where the HTC TyTN left off and it is even called TyTN II. Due to its extensive list of inculded features my attention was taken away from the E90 for the first time since the iPhone, and I began to feel conflicted. Spending so much money on getting the E90 was bad enough, but was it worth it to spend more on a tech toy that just was not needed? Well, at this point I have decided that it is not worth it.
My conclusion came from going to CompUSA and taking a look at a demo model for the TMobile Wing, which is a HTC phone which closely resembles if not mirrors the upcoming Kaiser. As I held it in my hand its dimensions were a bit wider than the E90 but not too big for me, but the quality did feel cheap with the plastic compared to the E90's metallic exterior. Looking at the form factor of the dominating touch screen did not conjure any good impressions, but I am sure this was due to the phone being a non-working demo.
What solidifies my choice in not going for the Kaiser is a number of factors with the most prevalent one being the qwerty layout. I have been spoiled with the E90 qwerty and have never come across a more extensive mobile layout. If I want to be nit-picky I could mention that the spongy feedback could be improved to more of a "click", but other than that it's absolutely perfect. Having a row of numbers and dedicated keys for punctuation marks makes writing more efficient and eliminates the need to rely solely on that ALT key. The qwerty of the TMobile Wing also resembled that of the HTC TyTN I used to own, and even though the feedback was better than the E90 it did not feel good to type on at all. Aside from having to use the ALT key, there were also shortcut keys at the top that reduced the size of the keys they happened to be neighboring. After a few minutes of typing and remembering my experience with the TyTN I knew then that I would not want to go back to that again over my E90. Next concern about the Kaiser is over the camera. At 3 megapixel it may be an improvement over the TyTN, but my E90's camera with its additional flash and GREAT video capture at 30 fps at FULL resolution is an obvious choice to stay with. The lack of a numerical keypad is not a huge issue, but I do use this a lot more often on my closed-mode E90 than I thought I would; not to mention that it retains a phone-like appearance that makes it easy for non-techies to dial a number when borrowing my phone. Next is the interface of the WM 6 software...I just cannot recall my short stint with the TyTN as being as easy using the S60 OS on my E90; navigating menus seemed like an endless chore and the Windows Media Player seemed clunky compared to the Eseries Music Player. The Kaiser's build quality with its glossy plastic doesn't seem like it will be on par to the metallic finish of my E90 and the sliding tilt mechanism does not seem as secure as the hinge of the E90. Last but not least the touchscreen, while I am a fan of them, just adds a sense of fragility to the device.

I think that my money would be well-spent on a new device other than a smartphone since the E90 appears to be the perfect phone for me...for right now.

New Home Office

I have returned from my weekend vacation in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware and am currently taking one more day of rest before heading back into work. In just a few moments I will have to get ready to go to evening rehearsal at the Harrison Opera House and I am currently typing this on the new Apple keyboard I just bought at the Apple store with a laptop stand. With these two items teamed with my wireless Bluetooth Mighty Mouse I now have a desktop workstation that is pretty neat to work with. This setup must be ergonomically sound, for I feel much better now that I am not too cramped within the confines of the MacBook Pro space.

Purchasing this new Apple keyboard is a compromise from a mental debate I had put myself through regarding the purchase of a new MacBook for the sake of its new keyboard layout. Yes, it is madness to buy a laptop only for its keyboard but I couldn’t help but be drawn to the form of the new tactile buttons. There is such a difference in typing the keys of this keyboard over the built-in keyboard of my MacBook Pro that I believe I shall keep this laptop desktop setup for quite some time whenever I use my computer at home. This is a very convenient and impressive arrangement for my mobile home office and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Inner Void

At 26 and in the year 2007 I have this superstition that time will soon run out and any chance I have to better my life will be thrown away and wasted due to no else's fault but my own. Though this subconscious belief is utterly crazy and without tangible proof of ever occurring, my mind cannot help but keep this stored away in some oblivious file and wait for the most random moment to taunt me with it. From years of watching television specials on Nostradamus prophecies and ancient Mayan calendars and attending church sermons on the book of Revelation I have manifested this underlying fear of the world's end. No matter how much I may desire to achieve certain long-term goals I somehow end up with a sense of hopelessness; that all things conjured by my willing effort will only be wiped clean away from the onslaught of a destined armageddon.
It is worrisome enough to have these feelings locked deep within the recesses of my brain and my spirit, but even more so when I feel like my life really has no greater purpose to fulfill. Day by day I find that I am ruled by a hunger for material things, and as a result I become addicted to obtaining new objects and will stop at nothing to have them. This hunger has resulted in mounting credit card debt and irresistible temptation from every new thing that happens to catch my buyer's eye. After years of being in a relationship, under long-term employment and exposed to social experiences I have learned some of the complexities of human interaction and just how fragile they can be. In the middle of all this I somehow feel an emptiness from within that just cannot be filled and I do not know where it comes from. A part of me thinks that finding a way to fill this void is good start to alleviate the fear of my life coming to an absolute end if not the world.
Ways to fill this void stand out in forms of religion when I wonder if feeling connected to a higher power of enlightenment would be a plausible solution. However, rampant hypocrisy and corruption that can and has run free in today's religious societies rids me of any security I could ever feel if I were to become a part of any of them. In respect to religious societies I at one point was interested in becoming a monk and devoting my entire life to worshipping God (I sometimes have that same interest to this day). A dream (or nightmare depending on how one may look at it) that occurred to me a long time ago involved me going to Jerusalem and witnessing the Second Coming first hand. There are times in the midst of my daily life when I feel the impulse to drop EVERYTHING and run for the hills in search of some solitude and tranquility. I think that ultimately that is all I long for in my life, a peaceful stillness that keeps me centered and enlightened and fulfilled to the point where I would long for nothing more than that. Until I achieve this inner peace in totality I must be content with however I can manage to obtain it in this life whether it be through writing poetry, onstage performing, listening to music or meditating.

Tech update

It has been a good while since I had boxed away the second iPhone for good and I have absolutely no regrets at this point. In the meantime Nokia's E90 is terrific and continues to provide the utmost reliability and versatility that I have ever seen in a mobile device. My red E90 has officially become a main staple in my daily life as much as my iPod and it truly amazing just how much I can really depend on this machine. It is basically what the Palm Treo longs to be and what the Windows Mobile smartphone hates to see...those of you looking for an iPhone jab can settle down, for even though it may not fit my needs it is still in a class by itself. At this time there appears to be a hiatus of smartphones being released into the market and I sometimes worry that I may end up tempted once again by a new tech toy.
The only possible temptation for me is a new iPod, for I have a feeling that the current fifth generation models are long overdue for a major aesthetic and technical upgrade. I was first swept into the video capable version upon the first release and immediately boxed away my 30GB iPod color into the bedroom closet. Since then I have been using my current 60GB white model for a long time (in my case anything kept past a year fits this criteria), and it has the wear and tear to show for it. I even still have my original Incase white belt clip holder I used with my previous 30GB model and that has also been through some wear over the many months. With the release of a new Apple office suite in iWork '08 that is definitely a MS Office alternative, one can only hope that the iPods will follow suit.
Speaking of the new release of the iWork 08 software package, I am so impressed with this after having used it for a few days that I am totally speechless. Not that the Microsoft Office app was bad at all, but it just isn't the same as using a bona-fide Apple office suite. To finally be able to completely delete the MS alternative from my Mac is truly an achievement in itself, for I had been dependent on AppleWorks since my first Mac introduction with the 12 inch iBook.

New Apple iWork '08

This is my first time writing with the new iWork ’08 application Pages, and I have to say that it feels quite exhilarating. Never before did I ever think that it would be this soon that I would be sitting in front of my MacBook Pro with an Apple word processor! Since my time with Appleworks on my 12 and 14 inch iBooks I have been yearning for a native word application to be able to write on my computer without the need for Microsoft software, and it is finally here.

At this time I can finally exhale a sigh of relief in owning an office suite that is rightfully under my own name and created by Apple, Inc. This is truly an exciting moment for me and I cannot wait to get started in writing more poems and blog entries and even short stories!!