Trapped by Circumstance

I am officially lost right now as I sit here on the living room sofa and think of where my future is going. In recent days I was encouraged by the arrival of the new year and began to be hopeful for better days ahead with thoughts of schooling at a technical institute, but all of that has been dashed by harsh reality. I am too far into debt to take on any more financial loans even if they are for the greater good of my education, so I must rely on an alternate plan to find my own success. Now that I think of it I must have been dreaming above the clouds to ever think that I could afford to carry the burden of another loan on top of what I am already handling. In my financial situation even part-time schooling is out of the question and remains a fleeting fantasy, and I am reeling in my own stupidity of it all. To get myself worked up and excited over absolutely nothing was a complete waste of time and I am ashamed of allowing myself to give in to it so whole-heartedly. All seemed wonderful for a good moment's time as I fantasized about getting a degree and actually making something of myself, but now I am dumbfounded to have awakened from such a mesmerizing spectacle of empty wishes born from such high hopes. As I continue to live by cash and try desperately to get over credit card withdrawals I am once again faced with the uncertainty of my own destiny and I need to do something about it.

I guess I had better get back to work on the one sure thing that I do have: my poetry.

TRENT
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